A new song has been coming into the works as Easter approaches...
It's a song of pure awe. Of wonderment. Of beautiful humility.
"You thought of me...When they whipped Your back with same and guilt and scorn, You thought of me...When they put the nails of wrong into Your wrists, You thought of me...When they placed upon You head the crown of thorns, Oh my Lord, You thought of me."
I've been going through a Billy Graham devotional this week, to prepare my heart for Sunday.
When I imagine myself at the foot of the cross, seeing my Savior be whipped and mocked and suffering in pain, it brings my heart to an endless abyss. I feel darkness.
And then I imagine myself on the cross with Him. Something I have never done before, but wow is this a humbling experience. To imagine myself on the cross, nails in my wrists and feet, nothing to support me, all breath running out, a pile of sharp thorns piercing my head and tasting blood as it runs down my face.
All of this for them?
All of this pain and suffering and dying for those sinners?
Why?
"Oh, Beloved. You are one of them"
Oh...right...why do all of this for me??
"My Child, I would do this and much more for you. You are my heart. You are mine."
But You asked for this cup to be taken...You felt as though God had left You...You didn't want to do this...
"My desire to die and My desire to save you are two different things. No one wishes to suffer great pain, but my desire to have you with Me forever was far greater than the cost of dying. You, My Beloved, are worth it all."
The question here turns out to be not that I wonder if He thinks I'm worth it...But do I think I'm worth it?
Finding my value and confidence and worthiness has always been a struggle. I have never felt as though I fit in. I've never felt as though I was really worth anyone's time or energy. Without a doubt I know that I could go into many different psychological reasonings as to why I've had a lack of confidence and pride in myself over the years, but the simple truth is this...
I've never thought that my value in Christ was enough to cover my lack of value in this world.
Don't get me wrong, He has me here for a reason. There is value to each and every one of us being in this world, but that value is minute compared to the infinite value we have in His heart.
I've been reading a book these last few weeks, and it just so happened to enter into the time of Easter as this week has drawn nearer. There's a point in it that really hit home with me, and it fits into the point I'm trying to make (or discover??).
Peter was quite a character, and I honestly cannot wait to meet him when I get to Heaven. I have so many questions and just want to hear his stories. One in particular...
He denied Christ three times.
Christ was crucified.
They all waited an excruciatingly long three days for Him to rise.
Peter was destitute in what he had done. Could Christ really forgive him for denying their friendship not once, but three times?? No way. He probably wouldn't want anything to do with him once He rose.
But oh how wrong he could be.
He rose, and sent an angel to tell Mary Magdalene, " But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’"
Did you catch it? I didn't the first time...
"But go, tell his disciples and Peter"... Two little words.
And Peter.
This was the forgiveness he had thought wouldn't come. This was the grace he didn't think he deserved. The grace none of us think we deserve. But Christ says otherwise.
If I trust my value of the world, I will never accept this grace, I will never truly believe that Christ was on that cross for me.
But if I turn my eyes away from the broken mirror of beauty, perfection, and idolatry and instead look at the wooden cross that suffered to make my broken pieces His...I find a whole new picture of worth.
And I'm right there in His heart.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
A blank page
I'm staring at a blank page...
A canvas for my words...
A place for my heart...
And I feel like there is an expectation... One where I need to write the perfect words. The convicting phrases. The "aha!" moments that I want my readers to get. The moments every writer wants to convict people of. Because we all want affirmation. We all want encouragement. We all want to feel like we are living right. That we are living a life that speaks to others.
Of course, we ARE human. And we WILL fail. But "so what if you life's going to be messy. Perfect isn't the plan. Purpose is." (Ann voskamp)
How often I need to remind myself of that. Because how often I think that I have to better than I am. That I have to strive for something more than I already have. That maybe, just maybe, God isn't exactly pleased with me; that maybe He isn't exactly looking down at me and saying "you're doing well, my good and faithful servant. With you I am well pleased." Because that's what we want to hear. That's what keeps us going - keeps us living - that goal of hearing those words from our Daddy. pleasing someone other than ourselves, because really, pleasing ourself is the hardest person to please.
So how do we live, how do we love, knowing that we are doing this crazy life thing well? How do we remind ourself that we really are doing the best we can?
Maybe that's it. Are we doing the best we can? Are we loving everyone we can? Because trust me, I know, there are people that make love seem like the hardest thing to do. There are times when love is the last thing we want to do. But that's when love is the only thing we can do. Love is the key to the Christian life. We love because He first loved us. We give because He first gave to us.
No matter how we feel. No matter the circumstance. It is our calling.
I have been called into ministry this summer. It is my future. And I couldn't be more excited. But I also have my questions as to how He is going to do it. How is He going to use a girl that has never fit in with people well? How is He going to use a girl that is afraid of flying? How is He going to use a girl that is terrified of public speaking? I don't know... But He does. So I get to trust. And I get to trust that at the end of the day, if I have tried the best I can, and have given Him everything I can, that even if I don't audibly hear Him say "with you I am well pleased", that I know He is my Daddy and I am His Princess. And He loves me. And He loves you.
So, now it's your turn.
He has given you a blank page, an open canvas, this crazy thing called life. How are you going to use it?
"Unless our lives are generous - our faith is starving to death." (Ann voskamp)
A canvas for my words...
A place for my heart...
And I feel like there is an expectation... One where I need to write the perfect words. The convicting phrases. The "aha!" moments that I want my readers to get. The moments every writer wants to convict people of. Because we all want affirmation. We all want encouragement. We all want to feel like we are living right. That we are living a life that speaks to others.
Of course, we ARE human. And we WILL fail. But "so what if you life's going to be messy. Perfect isn't the plan. Purpose is." (Ann voskamp)
How often I need to remind myself of that. Because how often I think that I have to better than I am. That I have to strive for something more than I already have. That maybe, just maybe, God isn't exactly pleased with me; that maybe He isn't exactly looking down at me and saying "you're doing well, my good and faithful servant. With you I am well pleased." Because that's what we want to hear. That's what keeps us going - keeps us living - that goal of hearing those words from our Daddy. pleasing someone other than ourselves, because really, pleasing ourself is the hardest person to please.
So how do we live, how do we love, knowing that we are doing this crazy life thing well? How do we remind ourself that we really are doing the best we can?
Maybe that's it. Are we doing the best we can? Are we loving everyone we can? Because trust me, I know, there are people that make love seem like the hardest thing to do. There are times when love is the last thing we want to do. But that's when love is the only thing we can do. Love is the key to the Christian life. We love because He first loved us. We give because He first gave to us.
No matter how we feel. No matter the circumstance. It is our calling.
I have been called into ministry this summer. It is my future. And I couldn't be more excited. But I also have my questions as to how He is going to do it. How is He going to use a girl that has never fit in with people well? How is He going to use a girl that is afraid of flying? How is He going to use a girl that is terrified of public speaking? I don't know... But He does. So I get to trust. And I get to trust that at the end of the day, if I have tried the best I can, and have given Him everything I can, that even if I don't audibly hear Him say "with you I am well pleased", that I know He is my Daddy and I am His Princess. And He loves me. And He loves you.
So, now it's your turn.
He has given you a blank page, an open canvas, this crazy thing called life. How are you going to use it?
"Unless our lives are generous - our faith is starving to death." (Ann voskamp)
Sunday, February 10, 2013
When you want to hide, hide in Him
Where do you go when you're at your end?
Where CAN you go?
Where is safe?
This world has become so corrupt, so disturbed, so lost, that no one knows where to begin running to. And honestly, sometimes it's hard to believe that there really is somewhere ha is safe.
How many of you have had questions?
How many of you have had questions...but no answers?
That's where I'm at tonight. My mind is running so rampant that I'm at the verge of tears. A part of me says that I need to let it all go. But another part of me says to keep analyzing and maybe there will be an answer... And what I've realized lately, is that even if there really are no answers to some of my questions, it's going to be okay!! Even if I feel like I need to run and hide, it will be okay! Even if I feel like there is no where and no one that is safe, it will be okay!!
Because when we are at our lowest, God is at His highest.
When we are hunkered down on the floor in tears, He is on the throne of grace.
When we are that one sheep that is lost, He is the Shepard chasing after us.
When we are simply us, He is God.
And that, my friends, will never change.
He will never change.
His love for us will never change...
And His love? It's more than unending, it's more than strong, it's more than anything yo can comprehend or dream of. His love? It's fierce. It's a love so strong that He can't let us feel how powerful it is because we wouldn't be able to handle it.
Can you imagine?! A love that strong...that its unimaginable.
It blows my mind.
And He loves each and every one of us with that same amount of fierce love.
Now, how He makes us feel His love, that's a good thing to think about
Lets think about this for a second... How man of you have gone through a trial? How many of you have gone through pain? And joy? What about happiness (They are two different things)? That's how...that's how He shows us His love. In the midst of every struggle, every ache, every tear, He lets us break, but He also catches every piece that falls... He catches every tear...
I want you to remember that... That He is our sustainer...
And He, my friends, is safe.
Where CAN you go?
Where is safe?
This world has become so corrupt, so disturbed, so lost, that no one knows where to begin running to. And honestly, sometimes it's hard to believe that there really is somewhere ha is safe.
How many of you have had questions?
How many of you have had questions...but no answers?
That's where I'm at tonight. My mind is running so rampant that I'm at the verge of tears. A part of me says that I need to let it all go. But another part of me says to keep analyzing and maybe there will be an answer... And what I've realized lately, is that even if there really are no answers to some of my questions, it's going to be okay!! Even if I feel like I need to run and hide, it will be okay! Even if I feel like there is no where and no one that is safe, it will be okay!!
Because when we are at our lowest, God is at His highest.
When we are hunkered down on the floor in tears, He is on the throne of grace.
When we are that one sheep that is lost, He is the Shepard chasing after us.
When we are simply us, He is God.
And that, my friends, will never change.
He will never change.
His love for us will never change...
And His love? It's more than unending, it's more than strong, it's more than anything yo can comprehend or dream of. His love? It's fierce. It's a love so strong that He can't let us feel how powerful it is because we wouldn't be able to handle it.
Can you imagine?! A love that strong...that its unimaginable.
It blows my mind.
And He loves each and every one of us with that same amount of fierce love.
Now, how He makes us feel His love, that's a good thing to think about
Lets think about this for a second... How man of you have gone through a trial? How many of you have gone through pain? And joy? What about happiness (They are two different things)? That's how...that's how He shows us His love. In the midst of every struggle, every ache, every tear, He lets us break, but He also catches every piece that falls... He catches every tear...
I want you to remember that... That He is our sustainer...
And He, my friends, is safe.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
It's just not fair!
Well...I had a really legit blog for you guys..it was pretty long too...and then my computer decided to shut down without saving it....so here's a new one lol
It's that moment when the Lord yells at you. Not a whisper, but a shout...and you can so clearly hear Him saying "Pay attention! I'm trying to tell you something! I'm still here!"
Lucky for me, I was able to listen when He yelled at me..Because sometimes that's the hardest part -listening.
It's that moment when the Lord yells at you. Not a whisper, but a shout...and you can so clearly hear Him saying "Pay attention! I'm trying to tell you something! I'm still here!"
Lucky for me, I was able to listen when He yelled at me..Because sometimes that's the hardest part -listening.
A man walked out of His house where The Lord greeted him and said to him, "I am going to put a boulder beside your house. Every morning I want you to go out and push the boulder." The man said he would obey. Ever morning the man got up at 5:30am and went out and pushed the boulder. He did this in rain, storm, snow, and ice. One morning he hadn't slept well and didn't want to ge up (we all know those mornings!), not to mention it was raining, but he know he needed... to obey The Lord, so he got up and went to push the boulder. It was raining but he kept pushing and pushing and pushing. He finally threw his arms up and yelled at God saying, "Lord, why can't I move this boulder?!?!" The Lord replied " I never asked you to move the boulder, I simply told you to push it. If I want to move it, I will, on my time."
This story made me bawl...I heard it during chapel and I lost it...which leads me to the questions:
What is or are you boulder(s)? Will you keep pushing and simply let The Lord move it if HE wants to?
What is or are you boulder(s)? Will you keep pushing and simply let The Lord move it if HE wants to?
Trust me...I know exactly how hard it is to push those boulders without seeing any result or any movement..I've been pushing mine for 9 years (and I'm only 17!). It can get so frustrating, and so often we too must throw our arms up and yell at the Lord saying, "WHY?!"
And so often, usually always during the suffering and the pushing, we tend to ask the hard questions like:
"Why, God?"
"How is this fair?"
"How could you do this?"
"Where are you?"
"How do I fight?"
And instead of those questions, why don't we ask some of these:
"Is God still God?" YES.
"Is God still in control?" YES.
"Is God still good?" YES.
"Does God still love me?" YES.
"Is God going to help me?" YES YES YES!!!
"Fair does not live here, but Jesus does."
Guys...no one enjoys or desires suffering. No one does. But we all desire the outcome - a deeper, more intimate, beautiful, trustworthy relationship with our King. We all desire that feeling of being loved and cared for and we all desire that feeling of accomplishment.
If I asked you if you would prefer to have a disease or disorder become a part of you, you would most likely say "um, no thanks", but if I asked you if you wanted a deeper and more rich relationship with God you would most likely say "yes, bring it on!". You can't get one without the other.
Now, I'm not saying that if you haven't faced hardship in your life that you don't have a great relationship with the Lord, I'm just saying that "suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
I know this blog is shorter than I intended, but my battery is low and I still feel sick..
so let me leave you with this...
The next time you face hardship and suffering, count your blessings, ask the easy questions, and remember that suffering produces hope. Shalom.
In His Grace,
Montana
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Bummer Lambs and Trust
Good evening to all you who are reading this. So nice to see yo again; and so glad you took the time to meet me in this moment. This grace. This God-centered time. May you be blessed. May the words that I write, and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable to You, Our Rock and our Redeemer...
I started reading a new book (which I would highly recommend). It is called "God loves broken people" by Sheila Walsh. It is phenomenal, and I'm only on chapter five!!! So tonight, I want to take a few of her points and really dive in to the depths of what they say.
She talks about bummer lambs. If you don't know what they are, I will tell you :) (don't worry, I didn't know what they were either). Bummer lambs are the lambs that do not receive care or milk from the mother ewe. The mother will kick him out of the way, for many reasons. Maybe the mother didn't want a child, so she will push him away and let him die. Or if she has many lambs and can only care for a few, she will push one or two out to let the others in. These abandoned, weak, fragile lambs are called "bummer lambs". The shepherd will usually take in the bummer lamb and care for them in the warmth of their home, and keep them alive. The shepherd deeply cares for his animals. Sheila says that we all are "bummer lambs" in a spiritual sense. I believe that to be oh so very true. "We have a heavenly Shephard who cares for us deeply and loves us fiercely.". I love that line!! The Lord is our Shephard. Do you recall the passage in Scripture where it says that if the Sheohard has 100 sheep, when one of them gets lost? He leaves the 99 in order to chase after and bring the lost sheep home. That is what Christ does for us. He leaves the 99 because He can be in two places at once. He can watch the 99 and still search for the one that got lost. Have you felt lost lately? If not, chances are that you will at some point in your life. The good news is that our Shephard will always come find us. He loves us so fiercely that we can't fathom it. He picks us up, holds us close, and carries us home. Even if you break a bone along the lonely path, He will bind up your wounds, and heal them through His own.
Do you find yourself sometimes looking up at God, and asking Him "why? Why me Lord? Why us? Why them?" Those are OK questions to ask. The Lord may not provide the answer that you want, but He is quietly whispering back "it's okay, just TRUST ME." Now, I can hear some of you saying, okay, that's easy; yet others I hear your silent cry of, that just seems so hard right now. I feel your pain. I carry your heartache. So often our hearts cry out with the questions that may never be answered; and as humans, that is perfectly acceptable. It is in our nature. The thing is. . . The Lord never promised us an easy road. In fact,He promised just the opposite. John 16:33 says " In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". Those are two promises that He tells us clearly
1 - YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE. He says that Himself.
2 - it's okay, because HE HAS OVERCOME.
In the trouble, He can make triumph! In the dark, He can make light! This is something that I have been struggling with lately... Trust. It seems so easy so often to just give up, but if I did that, I would miss out on how The Lord is going to turn my trouble into triumph. We can't make it happen, but He can.
I think that's all I have for you tonight. I am blessed to have you all read this. Please give me feedback. This is pretty much just my time to reflect and share those reflections. Let me say a prayer for you all. . . Father, Shephard, King. We thank you for loving the bummer lambs that we are. We thank you for turning our troubles into triumph. I ask blessings upon each person reading these words. I pray your all-abounding, amazing love to surround them. Give them your presence, let them feel you near. We love you. Amen.
In His Grace,
Montana
I started reading a new book (which I would highly recommend). It is called "God loves broken people" by Sheila Walsh. It is phenomenal, and I'm only on chapter five!!! So tonight, I want to take a few of her points and really dive in to the depths of what they say.
She talks about bummer lambs. If you don't know what they are, I will tell you :) (don't worry, I didn't know what they were either). Bummer lambs are the lambs that do not receive care or milk from the mother ewe. The mother will kick him out of the way, for many reasons. Maybe the mother didn't want a child, so she will push him away and let him die. Or if she has many lambs and can only care for a few, she will push one or two out to let the others in. These abandoned, weak, fragile lambs are called "bummer lambs". The shepherd will usually take in the bummer lamb and care for them in the warmth of their home, and keep them alive. The shepherd deeply cares for his animals. Sheila says that we all are "bummer lambs" in a spiritual sense. I believe that to be oh so very true. "We have a heavenly Shephard who cares for us deeply and loves us fiercely.". I love that line!! The Lord is our Shephard. Do you recall the passage in Scripture where it says that if the Sheohard has 100 sheep, when one of them gets lost? He leaves the 99 in order to chase after and bring the lost sheep home. That is what Christ does for us. He leaves the 99 because He can be in two places at once. He can watch the 99 and still search for the one that got lost. Have you felt lost lately? If not, chances are that you will at some point in your life. The good news is that our Shephard will always come find us. He loves us so fiercely that we can't fathom it. He picks us up, holds us close, and carries us home. Even if you break a bone along the lonely path, He will bind up your wounds, and heal them through His own.
Do you find yourself sometimes looking up at God, and asking Him "why? Why me Lord? Why us? Why them?" Those are OK questions to ask. The Lord may not provide the answer that you want, but He is quietly whispering back "it's okay, just TRUST ME." Now, I can hear some of you saying, okay, that's easy; yet others I hear your silent cry of, that just seems so hard right now. I feel your pain. I carry your heartache. So often our hearts cry out with the questions that may never be answered; and as humans, that is perfectly acceptable. It is in our nature. The thing is. . . The Lord never promised us an easy road. In fact,He promised just the opposite. John 16:33 says " In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". Those are two promises that He tells us clearly
1 - YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE. He says that Himself.
2 - it's okay, because HE HAS OVERCOME.
In the trouble, He can make triumph! In the dark, He can make light! This is something that I have been struggling with lately... Trust. It seems so easy so often to just give up, but if I did that, I would miss out on how The Lord is going to turn my trouble into triumph. We can't make it happen, but He can.
I think that's all I have for you tonight. I am blessed to have you all read this. Please give me feedback. This is pretty much just my time to reflect and share those reflections. Let me say a prayer for you all. . . Father, Shephard, King. We thank you for loving the bummer lambs that we are. We thank you for turning our troubles into triumph. I ask blessings upon each person reading these words. I pray your all-abounding, amazing love to surround them. Give them your presence, let them feel you near. We love you. Amen.
In His Grace,
Montana
Saturday, December 22, 2012
CHRISTmas challenge
Have you ever spent time to just talk with God?
Just Him?
No one else?
If you have...
Have you ever had that feeling...where you just feel like God's arms are wrapped around you? Have you ever felt that He is right there...sitting next to you?
I spent some time outside earlier tonight...just talking to Him...It was cold, but worth it...I thanked Him for so many things...
CHRISTmas lights
His son's humbled birth
Mary and Joseph (whom I also spoke to ;) )
CHRISTmas trees and gifts
etc...
So then, let me ask you this....
How often do we actually spend talking to Him?
How often do we thank Him for the simple?
How often does He hear our voice in praise to Him?
I will admit something to you all...those ten minutes I spent outside with Him,...was the first time I had talked to Him all day...I feel completely awful about that...but that's why i'm preaching this!! to me too!!
But now, changing views a little...
So, what does CHRISTmas mean?
Google defines it as "The annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth, held on December 25."
Celebrating Christ's birth.. sounds about right, doesn't it? That's because it is :) But to me...it's more than His birth...
It's the story of Mary and Joseph; of their great strength, of their dignity, of their humble hearts, of their trust in the Lord! How many of us women would be willing to be the mother of the One who would save the world? I think it would scare me a little too much! But Mary took it on because of her great hope and trust that the Lord would provide.
And Joseph was willing to take part in the great story of our Savior. He was willing to stand by Mary no matter what challenges they might face. His strength relied soley on God. He's who we should look for in a husband. Look for a Joseph for yourself ;)
CHRISTmas, to me...I can't even sum it up!
It's the story of how the Lord humbled Himself for the lowliest of sinners. Of how He came down as an infant, He gave up His throne, and came for us...the least of these! It's the story of His love. His grace. His mercy. Him. It's more than just a celebration. It's a commemoration. It's a service of communion for Him.
But really, CHRISTmas can be everyday. CHRISTmas is every time we give thanks. It's every time we stop and praise Him. It's every time we remember Him.
I have a challenge for you this CHRISTmas...
spend ten minutes with God. I don't care if you spread it out. But spend ten minutes with Him alone. Talking to Him, thanking Him, praising Him, etc. but on CHRISTmas day, spend ten minutes with Him...He loves to hear your voice:)
In Him forever,
montana
Just Him?
No one else?
If you have...
Have you ever had that feeling...where you just feel like God's arms are wrapped around you? Have you ever felt that He is right there...sitting next to you?
I spent some time outside earlier tonight...just talking to Him...It was cold, but worth it...I thanked Him for so many things...
CHRISTmas lights
His son's humbled birth
Mary and Joseph (whom I also spoke to ;) )
CHRISTmas trees and gifts
etc...
So then, let me ask you this....
How often do we actually spend talking to Him?
How often do we thank Him for the simple?
How often does He hear our voice in praise to Him?
I will admit something to you all...those ten minutes I spent outside with Him,...was the first time I had talked to Him all day...I feel completely awful about that...but that's why i'm preaching this!! to me too!!
But now, changing views a little...
So, what does CHRISTmas mean?
Google defines it as "The annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth, held on December 25."
Celebrating Christ's birth.. sounds about right, doesn't it? That's because it is :) But to me...it's more than His birth...
It's the story of Mary and Joseph; of their great strength, of their dignity, of their humble hearts, of their trust in the Lord! How many of us women would be willing to be the mother of the One who would save the world? I think it would scare me a little too much! But Mary took it on because of her great hope and trust that the Lord would provide.
And Joseph was willing to take part in the great story of our Savior. He was willing to stand by Mary no matter what challenges they might face. His strength relied soley on God. He's who we should look for in a husband. Look for a Joseph for yourself ;)
CHRISTmas, to me...I can't even sum it up!
It's the story of how the Lord humbled Himself for the lowliest of sinners. Of how He came down as an infant, He gave up His throne, and came for us...the least of these! It's the story of His love. His grace. His mercy. Him. It's more than just a celebration. It's a commemoration. It's a service of communion for Him.
But really, CHRISTmas can be everyday. CHRISTmas is every time we give thanks. It's every time we stop and praise Him. It's every time we remember Him.
I have a challenge for you this CHRISTmas...
spend ten minutes with God. I don't care if you spread it out. But spend ten minutes with Him alone. Talking to Him, thanking Him, praising Him, etc. but on CHRISTmas day, spend ten minutes with Him...He loves to hear your voice:)
In Him forever,
montana
Friday, December 21, 2012
How to slow down this Christmas
When you're rushing around, trying to get the gifts wrapped, trying to make sure everything is in place. When things go perfect, and when things go wrong. It's that moment when everything just speeds up. It's when nothing will slow down. How do you take the moments for what they are? How do you slow it all down?
It's when Christ came down as King.
It's when Christ died as King.
Our response both times is the same - to humbly embrace Him.
To bow down to our lowest level, to kiss His feet, small or big. To wrap our arms around Him like He wraps His around us.
Christmas is here.
It can be everyday.
Christmas isn't only about the day that Christ came down as a Babe, it's about His humbling of Himself for us, His great love for us.
We can make Christmas everyday. All we have to do is embrace Him everyday.
Take it moment by moment. Second by second.
Enjoy the fullness of all life has to offer.
So this CHRISTmas...take each moment for granted...enjoy every second.
Embrace Him.
Embrace love.
Embrace grace.
Live grace.
Eucharisteo.
Because it's all for you, from Him.
Happiness, joy, and peace. They are all around you, all the time. You just have to look.
Take it one day at a time.
Joy will find you.
It's already here.
And it's coming agin.
On December 25th.
God bless you this CHRISTmas.
In Him,
Montana
It's when Christ came down as King.
It's when Christ died as King.
Our response both times is the same - to humbly embrace Him.
To bow down to our lowest level, to kiss His feet, small or big. To wrap our arms around Him like He wraps His around us.
Christmas is here.
It can be everyday.
Christmas isn't only about the day that Christ came down as a Babe, it's about His humbling of Himself for us, His great love for us.
We can make Christmas everyday. All we have to do is embrace Him everyday.
Take it moment by moment. Second by second.
Enjoy the fullness of all life has to offer.
Embrace Him.
Embrace love.
Embrace grace.
Live grace.
Eucharisteo.
Because it's all for you, from Him.
Happiness, joy, and peace. They are all around you, all the time. You just have to look.
Take it one day at a time.
Joy will find you.
It's already here.
And it's coming agin.
On December 25th.
God bless you this CHRISTmas.
In Him,
Montana
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Snow
And then the snow fell...
All crystal white and soft...Gently falling...falling...falling. And that's how He came. Down. He fell down to earth, He humbled Himself for us. He came down in the humbles of forms, in the smallest He could be. A child. Born of a virgin. Born of a virgin. That proves God's incredible power, doesn't it?
He is the gift that keeps on giving. He is the gift that we continue to share. And I look out at the snow once more...
And it calls me. Oh, how it calls me. It brings me to remember. His grace. His mercy. His goodness.
Immanuel. God with us. And He is. Oh, how He is. Our comfort, our peace, because of His wounds. Because He came down, He simpled Himself. God incarnet became infant. God in heavenly relms became God on this lowly earth. From being in a room of vast glory that was almost too small for Him, to being curled in a ball, in a mother's womb, that could barely hold Him. He gave up the River of Life to give us life. That mystery - of a baby King. He is the mystery. And He revealed the large mystery - by being small.
He is the gift that we wrap and unwrap. We can give away His love. We can give away His grace. We can unrap His love. We can unwrap His grace.
He is the gift that keeps on giving. He is the gift that we continue to share. And I look out at the snow once more...
And it calls me. Oh, how it calls me. It brings me to remember. His grace. His mercy. His goodness.
Immanuel. God with us. And He is. Oh, how He is. Our comfort, our peace, because of His wounds. Because He came down, He simpled Himself. God incarnet became infant. God in heavenly relms became God on this lowly earth. From being in a room of vast glory that was almost too small for Him, to being curled in a ball, in a mother's womb, that could barely hold Him. He gave up the River of Life to give us life. That mystery - of a baby King. He is the mystery. And He revealed the large mystery - by being small.
He is the gift that we wrap and unwrap. We can give away His love. We can give away His grace. We can unrap His love. We can unwrap His grace.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Even if He doesn't
FINALS ARE OVER!!!!
I have to admit... I was crying in my basement last night - such a rough day... You know those days where you can tell you are just out of it? That was my yesterday...except it kept getting worse...luckily, I am blessed to have people in my life who are willing to hold my hand and help me through the rough and the great days... <3
So, i've been thinking a lot about this verse...
17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
"But even if he does not,"
those are some powerful words...
and some words we often don't think about...
what if God doesn't?
Heal you or your loved one...
Deliver from pain...
Provide the right words or actions...
What if He doesn't?
Are you still willing to fully trust Him? To full give him everything? Would you still give Him every ounce of you? Would you still believe that He has a good plan? That He can still use you?
This is something that I have been struggling with lately...as in yesterday and today...
But honestly ask yourself that question...What if He doesn't? How will you react?
We know that God is good. We know that He will provide. We know that He is holding us no matter what...but do all of those things start to fade away when things don't go our way? Trust me, I'm preaching to myself here too!! This is something I need to work on!!!
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were willing to stand for Him even if He didn't deliver them from the flames that surrounded them...what are your flames? Are you willing to stand for God if He allows them to engulf you? Or will you turn away and try to handle the pain on your own?
This is something that went through my mind when I decided to rededicate my life...that I couldn't handle the flames on my own. Now, if I couldn't handle them then, then what makes me think I can handle them now? What makes me think that if God doesn't (do this or that), then I can do it all on my own? The answer is satan...He's the one that tries to through those lies at you saying that you can handle it, that you are strong, that you are brave...I'm not strong, and I'm not brave...but God is! He's been through flames beyond any comparision to mine, and all for me! So then, why not give Him these flames?
and...
if He doesn't...
Continue to trust Him...
He delivered Daniel from the lion's den...
He delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale...
He delivered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fire...
and so many others...
And He can deliver you too...maybe not today, maybe not next week, or maybe He won't...but even if He doesn't, are you willing to go that distance? If not, you might need to check where you stand with the Lord...
Much love in Him,
Montana
I have to admit... I was crying in my basement last night - such a rough day... You know those days where you can tell you are just out of it? That was my yesterday...except it kept getting worse...luckily, I am blessed to have people in my life who are willing to hold my hand and help me through the rough and the great days... <3
So, i've been thinking a lot about this verse...
17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
"But even if he does not,"
those are some powerful words...
and some words we often don't think about...
what if God doesn't?
Heal you or your loved one...
Deliver from pain...
Provide the right words or actions...
What if He doesn't?
Are you still willing to fully trust Him? To full give him everything? Would you still give Him every ounce of you? Would you still believe that He has a good plan? That He can still use you?
This is something that I have been struggling with lately...as in yesterday and today...
But honestly ask yourself that question...What if He doesn't? How will you react?
We know that God is good. We know that He will provide. We know that He is holding us no matter what...but do all of those things start to fade away when things don't go our way? Trust me, I'm preaching to myself here too!! This is something I need to work on!!!
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were willing to stand for Him even if He didn't deliver them from the flames that surrounded them...what are your flames? Are you willing to stand for God if He allows them to engulf you? Or will you turn away and try to handle the pain on your own?
This is something that went through my mind when I decided to rededicate my life...that I couldn't handle the flames on my own. Now, if I couldn't handle them then, then what makes me think I can handle them now? What makes me think that if God doesn't (do this or that), then I can do it all on my own? The answer is satan...He's the one that tries to through those lies at you saying that you can handle it, that you are strong, that you are brave...I'm not strong, and I'm not brave...but God is! He's been through flames beyond any comparision to mine, and all for me! So then, why not give Him these flames?
and...
if He doesn't...
Continue to trust Him...
He delivered Daniel from the lion's den...
He delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale...
He delivered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fire...
and so many others...
And He can deliver you too...maybe not today, maybe not next week, or maybe He won't...but even if He doesn't, are you willing to go that distance? If not, you might need to check where you stand with the Lord...
Much love in Him,
Montana
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Wrapping and Unwrapping
It's been a rough day, guys! So i took to curling my hair :p
It always puts me in a good mood....but one other thing from today...
When everything goes wrong, God is the only thing that is right. And even in the midst of struggle, today, I've been finding joy from Him.
A friend texted me and said "I wish I could take it away from you...I'm sad"
I simply replied "why?"
She said "Because you are having a rough day"
I simply laughed...and I told her, You can be sad, but not too sad...because maybe God is strengthening me for something...and no matter what, He is still good.
You know, as CHRISTmas comes around, everyone is so excited for the presents...and the family time...and the food....and honestly, I am too! But this year, I'm going to make sure it's different- at least for me... I want to make sure that I tell Jesus "Happy Birthday!"
we are always so ready to celebrate someone's birthday with presents and with a cake...then why are we so often forgetting the guest of honor? The main event? The entire reason we can celebrate!!! This year, make it a point to tell Him happy birthday...maybe even get a small cake in honor of Him ;)
Also, a friend just texted me saying her mom and her got in a big fight....please keep her in your prayers...Let's be prayer warriors here, guys! I'm praying for all of you.
One more thing....I told you all I reached 500 blessings, right? I'm really excited about that...but one thing to keep in mind...it's not all about the number...it's about constantly recognizing blessings for what they are...blessings!
The Lord continues to give us grace and mercy and unending love, and all we must do is unwrap simple love! Tis the season for gift wrapping, right? Then let's take a challenge! Each time you wrap a gift, you unwrap 3 :)
So, let's say you wrap a gift for your sibling, or your child, then you count 1) family gathering in celebration 2) colorful wrappings of gifts and 3) blessed and being a blessing
I think that sounds pretty joyful :)
The Lord calls us to be children of joy. Let's be children of joy together.
I know this wasn't as "poetic" as the others, but I'm really tired and there is a lot on my mind!! Thank you, all of you, for reading my posts...it means more than you know...
More love than words can express,
Montana
When everything goes wrong, God is the only thing that is right. And even in the midst of struggle, today, I've been finding joy from Him.
A friend texted me and said "I wish I could take it away from you...I'm sad"
I simply replied "why?"
She said "Because you are having a rough day"
I simply laughed...and I told her, You can be sad, but not too sad...because maybe God is strengthening me for something...and no matter what, He is still good.
You know, as CHRISTmas comes around, everyone is so excited for the presents...and the family time...and the food....and honestly, I am too! But this year, I'm going to make sure it's different- at least for me... I want to make sure that I tell Jesus "Happy Birthday!"
we are always so ready to celebrate someone's birthday with presents and with a cake...then why are we so often forgetting the guest of honor? The main event? The entire reason we can celebrate!!! This year, make it a point to tell Him happy birthday...maybe even get a small cake in honor of Him ;)
Also, a friend just texted me saying her mom and her got in a big fight....please keep her in your prayers...Let's be prayer warriors here, guys! I'm praying for all of you.
One more thing....I told you all I reached 500 blessings, right? I'm really excited about that...but one thing to keep in mind...it's not all about the number...it's about constantly recognizing blessings for what they are...blessings!
The Lord continues to give us grace and mercy and unending love, and all we must do is unwrap simple love! Tis the season for gift wrapping, right? Then let's take a challenge! Each time you wrap a gift, you unwrap 3 :)
So, let's say you wrap a gift for your sibling, or your child, then you count 1) family gathering in celebration 2) colorful wrappings of gifts and 3) blessed and being a blessing
I think that sounds pretty joyful :)
The Lord calls us to be children of joy. Let's be children of joy together.
I know this wasn't as "poetic" as the others, but I'm really tired and there is a lot on my mind!! Thank you, all of you, for reading my posts...it means more than you know...
More love than words can express,
Montana
Friday, December 14, 2012
CHRISTmas
Are there a thousand things running through your mind this season? Are you feeling a little stressed? A little overwhelmed? Just a little too busy? Are you frantically searching for peace? Are you just waiting for CHRISTmas to get here already? If so, I'm in the same boat...As school finishes out with finals, my mind is a never-ending maze. I'm constantly going from one thing to the next. I'm trying to find some peace in this hectic place.
What are you most excited about this CHRISTmas? The presents or the presence? Trust me, I know the presents are always something to look forward to...but let's not forget the real reason we celebrate! Why try to glean every present in sight when you can easily and simply have His presence, the greatest gift of all? It doesn't require driving in all of the holiday traffic. It doesn't require a list of gifts. It doesn't require your hard-earned money. All it requires is YOU. He desires us to desire Him. To desire His presence. And I know that you do, whether you will admit it or not.
You desire to be filled with Him, filled with the pure awe that He brings.
You want to sit in His lap and simply be.
You want to look at His face, hear His voice, and be filled with complete love, with complete joy.
So then...
be.
Look.
Listen.
Be.
Let Him be blessed with your presence while you are blessed with His.
Take one moment. One second of the precious life He gave you, and simply give thanks. Simply sit with your Creator. Let Him have all of you -- even if for only a moment. Because, that's all He wants... You.
Don't be Martha (from the Bible, not Martha Stewart). Don't be so busy that it distracts you and keeps you from sitting down and washing feet.
His feet.
Take a bowl of water, a washcloth. And bow. Humbly bow. Humbly wash. Humbly awe. And be. Be with your Father. Be with the Savior. Just simply be!
And let's not forget to unwrap His gifts. Not the ones visible underneath the tree in your living room. Not the ones that will be delivered. Not the ones handed to you from friends and famliy. Of course, you can unrap those too, but I want you to focus on unrapping unending love. Unwrapping merciful grace. Unrapping joy. Things that only He can provide. Things that you may not really recognize are gifts until you're halfway done ripping the paper off. Until you can see the corner of the gift and your excitement rises and suddenly you unwrap faster and faster until it's all done. And it's open. And it's visible. And you smile.
But those gifts...aren't just given at CHRISTmas...those gifts (lucky us!), are given continuously...ferverently throughout our days...every day....so let's unwrap together -- what do you say? Will you join me in unwrapping His endless gifts to you? In giving thanks for the simply beautiful? Even the utterly ugly? He can turn all things good and beautiful.
I reached 500 blessings tonight...literally two seconds ago I finished writing them down...another blessing...right? ;)
Let's remember to keep CHRIST in our CHRISTmas. Because without Him, it wouldn't exist. And without Him, we wouldn't exist.
What are you most excited about this CHRISTmas? The presents or the presence? Trust me, I know the presents are always something to look forward to...but let's not forget the real reason we celebrate! Why try to glean every present in sight when you can easily and simply have His presence, the greatest gift of all? It doesn't require driving in all of the holiday traffic. It doesn't require a list of gifts. It doesn't require your hard-earned money. All it requires is YOU. He desires us to desire Him. To desire His presence. And I know that you do, whether you will admit it or not.
You desire to be filled with Him, filled with the pure awe that He brings.
You want to sit in His lap and simply be.
You want to look at His face, hear His voice, and be filled with complete love, with complete joy.
So then...
be.
Look.
Listen.
Be.
Let Him be blessed with your presence while you are blessed with His.
Take one moment. One second of the precious life He gave you, and simply give thanks. Simply sit with your Creator. Let Him have all of you -- even if for only a moment. Because, that's all He wants... You.
Don't be Martha (from the Bible, not Martha Stewart). Don't be so busy that it distracts you and keeps you from sitting down and washing feet.
His feet.
Take a bowl of water, a washcloth. And bow. Humbly bow. Humbly wash. Humbly awe. And be. Be with your Father. Be with the Savior. Just simply be!
And let's not forget to unwrap His gifts. Not the ones visible underneath the tree in your living room. Not the ones that will be delivered. Not the ones handed to you from friends and famliy. Of course, you can unrap those too, but I want you to focus on unrapping unending love. Unwrapping merciful grace. Unrapping joy. Things that only He can provide. Things that you may not really recognize are gifts until you're halfway done ripping the paper off. Until you can see the corner of the gift and your excitement rises and suddenly you unwrap faster and faster until it's all done. And it's open. And it's visible. And you smile.
But those gifts...aren't just given at CHRISTmas...those gifts (lucky us!), are given continuously...ferverently throughout our days...every day....so let's unwrap together -- what do you say? Will you join me in unwrapping His endless gifts to you? In giving thanks for the simply beautiful? Even the utterly ugly? He can turn all things good and beautiful.
I reached 500 blessings tonight...literally two seconds ago I finished writing them down...another blessing...right? ;)
Let's remember to keep CHRIST in our CHRISTmas. Because without Him, it wouldn't exist. And without Him, we wouldn't exist.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
stress!
Hey guys.... I might be distant for a while as finals approach, but I will try to post something short on saturday or sunday at least...
Speaking of finals, that's on the topic I want to discuss : Stress vs peace.
I know how easy it is to get caught up and lost in all the stress this life brings us, especially as finals approach, as the holiday comes up, and as everything gets just a little more chaotic. The thing is...Although it's so easy to let stress overcome us, we can choose to let peace encompass us. We can choose to look to the Lord, and ask Him to fill us with His presence. Because, reality is...He is always with us, just waiting for us to see Him. So then, why does it seem so hard to let Him in? Why do we choose stress over peace? Well, I think there are a few answers here...
1 - we are human. it's in our nature, so its how we usually and naturally respond to all the chaos life can bring!
2 - we are prideful. We don't like to admit that we need help to find peace. We don't want to have to call on someone else to take our problems from us, because well, "I can handle it
3 - It's easier this way... It doesn't take as much effort. Sometimes I think we are just lazy. too lazy to care.
Now... I will honestly admit that I am being a hypocrite here... There is so much stress right now, and it honestly feels too hard to give up...if that makes any sense at all...It just seems like I can't feel God's peace...then again, I haven't exactly asked for it... So that's my plan for tonight...for right now... To ask for His peace...
.
..
...
..
.
And I just did. And it's crazy how I feel it. Already. So soon. Within seconds. Because of simple words. God is just that good. God is just that gracious. Incredible.
Now, my picture wouldn't upload, but today I wrote four things on my hand... Yaweh, Joy, Grace, and God-struck. It was a reminder to me all day. Of how when we whisper, God's name, "Yaweh" is said. How in Him, we can have constant joy. How He is forever providing grace. How I need to learn to constantly live and be God-struck. Because He deserves our awe. I'm out of words...in so many ways.
On a new topic... I've been writing some new CHRISTmas songs lately...I want to share one with you all...It's just a rough draft ( I am so excited to get a new cd recorded by wednesday!!!), but I think it gives the message...
I didn't listen to it before I posted it, so I'm hoping it's the right one :p It's from Mary's perspective... not all the emotions are in there, but her awe-struck moment is there I believe..... let me know what you guys think... shoot me a message on facebook, or if you have my number, text me :)
So I leave you with this...
Hold a pause.
Be God-struck
Live eucharisteo.
"How when you are turned away from God, life turns ugly, but when you are turned toward God, life turns lovely."
Push back the dark, and let the light shine.
love you guys
Speaking of finals, that's on the topic I want to discuss : Stress vs peace.
I know how easy it is to get caught up and lost in all the stress this life brings us, especially as finals approach, as the holiday comes up, and as everything gets just a little more chaotic. The thing is...Although it's so easy to let stress overcome us, we can choose to let peace encompass us. We can choose to look to the Lord, and ask Him to fill us with His presence. Because, reality is...He is always with us, just waiting for us to see Him. So then, why does it seem so hard to let Him in? Why do we choose stress over peace? Well, I think there are a few answers here...
1 - we are human. it's in our nature, so its how we usually and naturally respond to all the chaos life can bring!
2 - we are prideful. We don't like to admit that we need help to find peace. We don't want to have to call on someone else to take our problems from us, because well, "I can handle it
3 - It's easier this way... It doesn't take as much effort. Sometimes I think we are just lazy. too lazy to care.
Now... I will honestly admit that I am being a hypocrite here... There is so much stress right now, and it honestly feels too hard to give up...if that makes any sense at all...It just seems like I can't feel God's peace...then again, I haven't exactly asked for it... So that's my plan for tonight...for right now... To ask for His peace...
.
..
...
..
.
And I just did. And it's crazy how I feel it. Already. So soon. Within seconds. Because of simple words. God is just that good. God is just that gracious. Incredible.
Now, my picture wouldn't upload, but today I wrote four things on my hand... Yaweh, Joy, Grace, and God-struck. It was a reminder to me all day. Of how when we whisper, God's name, "Yaweh" is said. How in Him, we can have constant joy. How He is forever providing grace. How I need to learn to constantly live and be God-struck. Because He deserves our awe. I'm out of words...in so many ways.
On a new topic... I've been writing some new CHRISTmas songs lately...I want to share one with you all...It's just a rough draft ( I am so excited to get a new cd recorded by wednesday!!!), but I think it gives the message...
So I leave you with this...
Hold a pause.
Be God-struck
Live eucharisteo.
"How when you are turned away from God, life turns ugly, but when you are turned toward God, life turns lovely."
Push back the dark, and let the light shine.
love you guys
Friday, December 7, 2012
Geeks and Grace
So this might be a short post, but I wanted to say something real quick....
Blessed... Surrounded by grace, love, mercy, all abounding... all encompasing... surrounded by voices and noise, and I choose to write... I choose to unwrap blessings... I choose to sit quietly in the peace of the Lord, sit openly with my heart layed out... why?
i'm not exactly sure... it just feels...natural...
I am surrounded by geeks...yes, geeks... those who love to play videogames, who love to be surrounded by soda and chips...but they are real...and they aren't afraid to be...they are open to all life has to give- the funny and the serious...they are humorus in their own way...they fill this school with joy and laughter and they sit in the aroma of friendship...of welcoming arms...
isn't that how we should always be? waiting with welcoming arms? then why aren't we? oh, that's right... we are afraid to be different...this world tells us to stay in our own groups, to stay put away from anything or anyone different. But what if we all are "different"? Because we really are... we are all different in our own way; and it's a good thing!! Jesus was different! He sat and talked and befriended the sinners and beggers and He died on a cross for those!!! He died on a cross so that we could share His love with everyone, not just a select few. He calls us to be His witnesses to a world in the dark. and the only way to do that is to be full of grace. To share the grace. To rest openly in His words. We are called to show mercy, to show compassion, like He did. We didn't deserve Him taking the beatings, the mocking, the scorn. We don't deserve His death. We don't deserve His un-ending love! And yet, He provides us with that, and much more... He provides us with grace and mercy and love all-abounding. He provides us with opportunity, with relationships, with blessings we are not worthy to recieve.
So, as I sit here, alone but yet surrounded by many....I realize that i'm not alone...and that i'm not worthy...and that this is really quite funny-that I would choose to write about Him, instead of play games with my friends...but He is worth it...and even though my writing has just been jokingly made fun of, I'm not mad....this is my voice...God's voice...and no one else's...
Blessed... Surrounded by grace, love, mercy, all abounding... all encompasing... surrounded by voices and noise, and I choose to write... I choose to unwrap blessings... I choose to sit quietly in the peace of the Lord, sit openly with my heart layed out... why?
i'm not exactly sure... it just feels...natural...
I am surrounded by geeks...yes, geeks... those who love to play videogames, who love to be surrounded by soda and chips...but they are real...and they aren't afraid to be...they are open to all life has to give- the funny and the serious...they are humorus in their own way...they fill this school with joy and laughter and they sit in the aroma of friendship...of welcoming arms...
isn't that how we should always be? waiting with welcoming arms? then why aren't we? oh, that's right... we are afraid to be different...this world tells us to stay in our own groups, to stay put away from anything or anyone different. But what if we all are "different"? Because we really are... we are all different in our own way; and it's a good thing!! Jesus was different! He sat and talked and befriended the sinners and beggers and He died on a cross for those!!! He died on a cross so that we could share His love with everyone, not just a select few. He calls us to be His witnesses to a world in the dark. and the only way to do that is to be full of grace. To share the grace. To rest openly in His words. We are called to show mercy, to show compassion, like He did. We didn't deserve Him taking the beatings, the mocking, the scorn. We don't deserve His death. We don't deserve His un-ending love! And yet, He provides us with that, and much more... He provides us with grace and mercy and love all-abounding. He provides us with opportunity, with relationships, with blessings we are not worthy to recieve.
So, as I sit here, alone but yet surrounded by many....I realize that i'm not alone...and that i'm not worthy...and that this is really quite funny-that I would choose to write about Him, instead of play games with my friends...but He is worth it...and even though my writing has just been jokingly made fun of, I'm not mad....this is my voice...God's voice...and no one else's...
Slowing
The child in the manger....The joy He brings...the Joy of that night...Are the best things really ever things? Are the best gifts just merely physical gifts? Or is it more?
I slow my heartrate down....Take a deep breath. And I can feel it-the slowing, the pulsing, the beating...but that's not all I want to slow down. I want to slow down time-make it still-have more time. More time to bless. More time to give. More time to slow. That's what I need to do with this season. Slow it down. Really stop and think. Meditate. Breathe. Thank.
I sit upstairs quietly alone...at peace. Trying to feel the Lord's presence as I write one more song. As I strum those chords in hopes of finding the right pattern. In hopes of finding the right words. And time slows. It's quiet. I can breathe. And the words come. Softly but surely.
"I'm holding the King of Kings. Watching the Prince of Peace. The One who knew me before I knew Him. I'm holding the Great I Am. My baby, God's own Lamb."
I fall to my knees in the middle of the chapel. In the middle of hearts poured open. In the middle of grace. And I feel hands. And I hear prayers. Whispered. True. Heart-felt. And I cry. Oh how I cry. And time slows. My head races with "sorry"s, my hands stretch high to reach Him. To reach His grace. To reach His mercy. To reach His forgiveness. And I already have it. All of it. I already have Him. But I slow. And I rise. I go back. I sit and I cry out. I feel more hands and hear more prayers. I feel love. I feel loved. And I know I am. He's told me that before. "We love because he first loved us. " (1 John 14:9) "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, " (Ephesians 2:4). And I give Him myself. I give Him all of me. Once more. Because He is worthy. I am nothing without Him. He is grace and mercy and good and love. He is here. And how long does it take us to realize that? How long til we realize He is enough? And my heart beats open. How hard is it to be open after all you have been is closed? How do you become vulnerable when all you've been was hurt? After so many scars?
We are healed by His scars. We are healed by His wounds. That night on which He was betrayed. That night that He gave thanks. For the good and the bad. He knew He would be wounded, He knew it would hurt. But He took it all so that through His scars we might be healed. We might be remade, renewed, revived. And it's only by His comforting hands that we find peace and mercy and grace and healing. It's only by His love that we find His presence, Him here, Him alwasy-present. And we can always have more of God. We can always want more, because He gives it to us. He gives us all we need. He is always open to us, so let's be open to Him. Let's be God-struck today. Let's be God-desiring.
I slow my heartrate down....Take a deep breath. And I can feel it-the slowing, the pulsing, the beating...but that's not all I want to slow down. I want to slow down time-make it still-have more time. More time to bless. More time to give. More time to slow. That's what I need to do with this season. Slow it down. Really stop and think. Meditate. Breathe. Thank.
I sit upstairs quietly alone...at peace. Trying to feel the Lord's presence as I write one more song. As I strum those chords in hopes of finding the right pattern. In hopes of finding the right words. And time slows. It's quiet. I can breathe. And the words come. Softly but surely.
"I'm holding the King of Kings. Watching the Prince of Peace. The One who knew me before I knew Him. I'm holding the Great I Am. My baby, God's own Lamb."
I fall to my knees in the middle of the chapel. In the middle of hearts poured open. In the middle of grace. And I feel hands. And I hear prayers. Whispered. True. Heart-felt. And I cry. Oh how I cry. And time slows. My head races with "sorry"s, my hands stretch high to reach Him. To reach His grace. To reach His mercy. To reach His forgiveness. And I already have it. All of it. I already have Him. But I slow. And I rise. I go back. I sit and I cry out. I feel more hands and hear more prayers. I feel love. I feel loved. And I know I am. He's told me that before. "We love because he first loved us. " (1 John 14:9) "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, " (Ephesians 2:4). And I give Him myself. I give Him all of me. Once more. Because He is worthy. I am nothing without Him. He is grace and mercy and good and love. He is here. And how long does it take us to realize that? How long til we realize He is enough? And my heart beats open. How hard is it to be open after all you have been is closed? How do you become vulnerable when all you've been was hurt? After so many scars?
We are healed by His scars. We are healed by His wounds. That night on which He was betrayed. That night that He gave thanks. For the good and the bad. He knew He would be wounded, He knew it would hurt. But He took it all so that through His scars we might be healed. We might be remade, renewed, revived. And it's only by His comforting hands that we find peace and mercy and grace and healing. It's only by His love that we find His presence, Him here, Him alwasy-present. And we can always have more of God. We can always want more, because He gives it to us. He gives us all we need. He is always open to us, so let's be open to Him. Let's be God-struck today. Let's be God-desiring.
Monday, December 3, 2012
When things are bad, and when things are good
Everything in my life has been chaotic lately...chaotic bad, but also chaotic good... I find myself having constant joy in the LORD, and all the while forcing myself to remeber why I smile. But I also find that in the midst of pain and struggle, I am not only praying to Him, but praising Him. This is something that has required much practice, practice, practice, and much hammer, hammer, hammer.
“I hunger for filling in a world that is starved.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts). Isn't that the truth, though? That this world is starved. This world is hungry; but most of us don't know what for... we strive and long for something of fulfillment, something to give us satisfaction, but we so often look for that as it being something of this world...not just in it, but of it.. we look for the humanistic side of things, rathere than the heaven-pointed side of things. we look for lust when we should be looking for true love from Him. We look for money when all our riches are in Him. We look for power when He is the one that gives power! Don't you see? All of our needs, all of our wants, all of our desires, our cravings, our strivings...they are all found completely perfect in Him. Not in this world, but in Him!!!
I'm kinda jumping from one subjec to the other tonight...but something else I want to say in this post is this: What if...what if...that is a question I have so often asked myself and asked God.... What if...I didn't have this problem? What if... I was born into a different family? What if...I died tomorrow? What if...all I have was lost? What if? What if? But instead of asking "What if?" why don't we try saying "Thank you"? Thank you for this problem. thank you for this family. Thank you for life. Thank you for all I have...because we don't know what tomorrow holds... we don't know what the next two seconds hold... but HE DOES! He is already there and He holds it all in His hands! Because isn't the question "What if" almost as if we are telling God that we aren't thankful for what we have? Isn't it like saying "Well, thank you for all I have, but couldn't you have done better?" And who would want to say that to God?! Who would want to look our creator in the eyes, and say "I'm dissapointed in what you have done"?! Just something to process.....
“I hunger for filling in a world that is starved.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts). Isn't that the truth, though? That this world is starved. This world is hungry; but most of us don't know what for... we strive and long for something of fulfillment, something to give us satisfaction, but we so often look for that as it being something of this world...not just in it, but of it.. we look for the humanistic side of things, rathere than the heaven-pointed side of things. we look for lust when we should be looking for true love from Him. We look for money when all our riches are in Him. We look for power when He is the one that gives power! Don't you see? All of our needs, all of our wants, all of our desires, our cravings, our strivings...they are all found completely perfect in Him. Not in this world, but in Him!!!
I'm kinda jumping from one subjec to the other tonight...but something else I want to say in this post is this: What if...what if...that is a question I have so often asked myself and asked God.... What if...I didn't have this problem? What if... I was born into a different family? What if...I died tomorrow? What if...all I have was lost? What if? What if? But instead of asking "What if?" why don't we try saying "Thank you"? Thank you for this problem. thank you for this family. Thank you for life. Thank you for all I have...because we don't know what tomorrow holds... we don't know what the next two seconds hold... but HE DOES! He is already there and He holds it all in His hands! Because isn't the question "What if" almost as if we are telling God that we aren't thankful for what we have? Isn't it like saying "Well, thank you for all I have, but couldn't you have done better?" And who would want to say that to God?! Who would want to look our creator in the eyes, and say "I'm dissapointed in what you have done"?! Just something to process.....
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thanksgiving
Today was our third and FINAL Thanksgiving.... My youngest cousin and I spent the night at my grandma's to help cook and get everything ready... this morning I drove to church and came back early to help set up for the day. Everyone started showing up around 12:30. It's always interesting to have the cousins together, and this time we added three new people -my two oldest cousin's boyfriends and my brother's girlfriend. what a household!! Thanksgiving is family dysfuntion at it's best. Other than being tired of turkey, mashed potatoes, and all the thanksgiving fixings, it was a long day with a slight headache. But I found a way to make it a great day!! My youngest cousin and I took pictures yesterday, and around 3:30 I told my brother and his grifriend that I wanted to take pictures of them...
Such a cute picture :) I am determining that they will get married, because I love this girl to pieces. She is such a joy and she is good to my brother... He is good to her!! They make each other laugh and I honestly think having her around has helped my brother and I's relationship... somehow... :)
This morning was very rough for me... full of lots of things I wish i could avoid, but happen nontheless... but I got some encouragement from a few people that I would like to share with you... The first is from a bible teacher I had in 6th grade... she is absolutely amazing... she texted me with the words "Nothing comes our way without passing through His hands first..." That really hit me... that God knows all I'm dealing with, and He knows the outcome... I just have to trust that whatever He let go through His hands to me, I can handle THROUGH and WITH Him... and that He has a reason and a plan...
The second I want to share is from a woman at our church. She is my "gramma". Love her to death, and she never fails to make me smile... She responded with "through our cracks God's light shines through!" That is something we talked about last year in small groups... that maybe the cracks in us are ways of Him shining through us when there seemed to be no other way.. Maybe the cracks aren't a bad thing, but good...she also asked me a question... "what are three words describing this time between thanksgiving and the start of advent?"
This question made me think...but I came up with "awaiting...slowing...and Holy..." She came up with "thankful...love...Holy Spirit."
What are three words you could use to describe this time???
Be grateful. Be eucharisteo. Be holy for Him.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Blessings in disguise
We put our CHRISTmas tree up last night... I am always filled with joy some way or another when the CHRISTmas season is approaching. I am blessed beyond belief to know the LORD our God, and have a real realationship with Him. He is so good and gracious to us... and we so often ignore the blessings that He places right in front of us... Maybe not intentionally, but unintentionally... we just drive right past them without stopping to realize that they might actually be blessings, maybe in disguise... like a grandmother passing away...but she is free from pain... or the girl in the hospital... but she is recieving help... or maybe even the girl crying to her friend... but she is not holding it all inside... there are so many blessings we often pass by... and we don't deserve a single one of them... We recieve blessings not because of who we are or what we do...but because of who HE is and what HE has done... because HE is good...
I took this photo last year... I like it because it is an immage of a cross in the snow.... another blessing he has bestowed... the joy and glammer of glistening snow fallen soft on the ground... HE is so good... granted, we do realize many blessings from Him; like rain or snow when we need or want it... but how many times do we really thank Him for all He has done and is doing? Not very often...I challenge you to keep going on your list today...and tell me if it truly brings you joy...
" ' Noel', I hear the angels sing."
He is here and He is good.
I took this photo last year... I like it because it is an immage of a cross in the snow.... another blessing he has bestowed... the joy and glammer of glistening snow fallen soft on the ground... HE is so good... granted, we do realize many blessings from Him; like rain or snow when we need or want it... but how many times do we really thank Him for all He has done and is doing? Not very often...I challenge you to keep going on your list today...and tell me if it truly brings you joy...
" ' Noel', I hear the angels sing."
He is here and He is good.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Give Thanks
This is what I'm struggling with lately....not just simple give thanks for my home and for family...but in the constant of every day life...in every moment...in every situation... the good AND the bad... eucharisteo... it means "He gave thanks"... it's what Jesus did when He broke the bread that night at the table... He "gave thanks" or "eucharisteo"...that is how He lived... it is how I should live... but trust me... it's hard... very hard...
The Lord calls us to be His children. To be His people. To share His love... it doesn't mean that I can't have struggles or trials...it just meand that I need to learn to look to Him when I have those trials...Lately I have been bombarded with all of the bad that life can bring...seems like all life could possibly hit me with, is hitting me all at once.. straight in the gut... but what I'm learning is that my troubles may be bad....but I have a God who is bigger... much bigger... He is bigger than any mountain that I could face...
I've been reminded of my life verse a few times this week...and just at the right time... so often I forget what it really means...but what it means, is exactly what it says...Isaiah 41:10 - "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." It means that HE IS holding me... HE IS here. HE IS my GOD... HE WILL help me... HE WILL uphold me... even when it seems like i've fallen too far to get back up...because I haven't... and I never can.
As the holidays approach, it's a time of list-making..of things we want...my challenge for you at least for one week, is to make just one more list...and not of things you want...or need...but of things you already have...of things He has already blessed you with.. the small (382. hugs), the big (381. hospitals), the good (385. thousands of prayers), and the bad (242. words missunderstood)... those are just a few of my current list... a list to 1000... i'm on my way!!! Here are the last few I have written down...
381. Hospitals
382. Hugs
383. Time to write letters
384. an amazing uncle full of wisdom
385. Thousands of prayers united
386. Sharing of my testimony unexpectedly
387. God's work
383. Friendly doctors
389. Jokes during serious topics
390. Upping my medicine
391. TRUST
God is good -- all the time... <3
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